Why does someone trigger me so much?

Have you ever wondered why some people trigger your emotions with no seeming cause.

You just get a feeling somewhere inside, you feel uneasy, on guard or instantly on the defensive?

Is it our intuition giving us a warning? or could there be another reason?

I remember many many years ago, when I was introduced to a new work colleague, she instantly wound me up. Every time we spoke I got a weird uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I couldn’t put my finger on why she had this effect on me, everyone else thought she was wonderful. My behaviour changed when I was around her and guess who got the promotion when the time came? well it wasn’t me!

Our relationship never changed and I moved on to start my own business. That was over 30 years ago but I still remember her and how she made me feel.

What I’ve discovered since using Emotional Freedom Technique and working through many of my own beliefs and blocks. It was her tone of voice!

Lets call her ‘Karen’. Karen reminded me of one of my junior school teachers who always sent me out of the class. I was made to stand outside in the draughty corridor and wait for the headmaster to come along and tell me off.

This usually happened when a few of us in class were talking when we weren’t supposed to be – but, here’s the rub. It wasn’t always my fault, and having bright red hair didn’t really help.

It was totally unfair and unjust, so I took on the belief that it didn’t matter if I was well behaved or not, I was still going to get the blame.

So when ‘Karen’ spoke to me I felt undermined and on edge, I assumed she would blame me for something I didn’t do or unfairly judge me. I wasn’t my confident happy-go-lucky self around her and everyone could see it.

Of course, at the time I didn’t know why and we never became friends – none of which was her fault.

Echos from our childhood can follow us around deep in the subconscious and secretly undermine us. It could be the voice of your mother, father, siblings, friends or teachers.

If you grew up in an unloving home, or with helicopter parents always pushing you to do more than you best. Getting a B and not an A* wasn’t good enough.

If you were embarrassed in class, bullied at school, dumped by your first boyfriend etc these experiences become your ‘hidden’ beliefs – the voices in your head – which lead to our behaviours, emotions, beliefs about ourselves, the world and your place in it.

Does anyone in your life, be it in business or at home, make you feel anxious, over step your boundaries or have you tip-toeing around and not being yourself?

If you remember experiences from the past and they still have an emotional affect on you, it’s easier than you think to tame those triggers – walking on egg shells is no way to live.

I work with high achieving women to uncover, release and resolve stress, anxiety, overwhelm and unhelpful patterns that are having an impact on their career, relationships or emotional wellbeing.

If you’re curious, I look forward to seeing you on your complimentary call.

Heidi Wells, Certified Coach, Accredited EFT Practitioner, Mindfulness Teacher and Intuitive Consultant.